This will be my last blog post from Moscow... I really can't believe our time is up. The past month felt soo fast but really long at the same time. I'm looking forward to getting home and seeing my family and friends, but I'm not looking forward to saying goodbye to my team that has so quickly become my family. My Moscow experience has changed me and my heart for the world. When I leave here in a few hours, I honestly do not think this will be my last time in this huge city. That is another whole post though....
To keep myself from being sad right now, some things that I'm very excited about that are in America:
Seeing my family. Being reunited with my best friends. Driving a car instead of walking. Being able to read. Being able to order at a restaurant and know exactly what I'm getting. Getting to share my experience with all of the people who have supported me and prayed for me through this. Pictures to my computer :) Showering with hot water and without shoes.
Some things I will miss... My team that has become so dear to my heart. Carmel McFlurrys. Talking in a British accent at any given moment and being completely normal. My Russian friends. The sun staying up until 11 pm. Laughing really hard at my/my team's inadequacy at all things Russian. The metro. Metro pastries. Snuggling on my bed with all the girls. Heart to hearts on my bed with Mark and Kaleb. Life stories. Being the caboose at all team outings with LP. :) H&M. Red Square. ...the list could go on forever.
My heart is overwhelmed with gratitude to God and everyone who has given and prayed for me through this experience. I'm humbled that people like you invest in the Kingdom of Heaven by investing in me. Look for more posts from America soon. I love each of you and I'm so, so thankful.
I have so much to say, and not a lot of time, so I am going to write short parts of all kinds of things that are happening...
First things first...In my last post, I forgot some of the words that I use daily. Here you go.
nyet- no
dah- yes
fsO- that's all (this happens to be Laura Peden's favorite Russian word. :))
We met with the English teacher again on Friday. She has lots of questions. She has been in a hard season of her life, and pretty much wanted us to tell her what we thought she should do. We told her that we would pray about it. She kept asking if we had seen any tangible way ("signs" as she would say) that God is real and at work in our lives. We each got to give some specific examples of how Christ has worked in our lives, and that was really neat. She said that she agreed with most of the things in the Knowing God Personally booklet. There is so much to this story and there is no way to type it all out here, but know that the Lord is at work in her life. You can be praying for her. We are meeting with her again tomorrow, and this time we are taking our friend, Liz, who is on long-term staff here in Moscow, so that she can hopefully connect with her and encourage her after we leave.
Yesterday, my ministry team got the opportunity to work at a soup kitchen. This city has some of the richest people and some of the poorest people I have probably ever seen. This soup kitchen was for people who are on pension. They were all elderly, and they only get money from the government for their medicine. They have a pretty good system set up, and they serve lunch to people Monday-Friday, every week of the year. Working there was one of the most humbling things I have ever done. When we were done, I told my team that it just floored me that we/our parents/someone pays thousands and thousands of dollars every year for us to get an education, and these people can't afford to eat. That is mind boggling to me. I feel like my eyes were so opened to how blessed I really am. I didn't choose to be born in America, or to be born into a family who knows and loves Christ, or to be born into a family with a father who is financially wise and stable. But the Lord has blessed me with that, and it is ridiculous for me to sit back and take it all for granted. I have time, my health, and money to give to people who, like me, didn't choose their circumstance. We are called to love the least of these, and I want to do a better job of it.
After we were done at the soup kitchen, hrltkhsr;tlkhsrt;lmkn (that's Stephen Pittman's contribution to my blog...) we were all hungry and tired. We decided to go to the McDonald's just down the street from our hostel since it would be quick and cheap. We got there and it was packed. As Laura and I were looking for a place to sit, we realized there was not an empty table in the place. Here, it is common to just sit down at a table with someone you do not know. As strange and awkward as that is in America, it's pretty normal here. We decided to be "cultural learners" and sit down at a random table with a random guy. We asked him if he spoke English, and he told us no. Our friend Steven (different Steven than the one who just gave us his input above...) sat down with us shortly after. We were just talking (in English) amongst ourselves about nothing in particular, when the guy we were sitting at said, "Bible? Jesus? Martin Luther?" We were literally shocked. We were like, "Yes, all of those." But we couldn't communicate much more than that. I handed him a Knowing God Personally booklet that was in Russian, and we attempted to ask him if he agreed. He kept nodding his head and saying yes. Through some broken English and context clues, we figured out that he was telling us that he was Protestant, and that he wanted to invite us to his church on Saturday. That was about as far as we could get though, because of the language barrier. Then, out of nowhere, the people at the table next to us say, "Translator?" Come to find out, they all spoke English and Russian and were able to translate our conversation so that we could communicate. WOW! We were completely floored. We were shocked for several reasons: 1.) We just met a Christian in Russia...that's bizarre as it is. 2.) He brought up spiritual things with us...not a single person we've met here has done that. 3.) He doesn't speak our language. 4.) We think he's probably an evangelical Christian which is completely unheard of here. 5.) There were people next to us who offered to translate. The whole thing was just so crazy and exciting and encouraging. When we weren't even expecting it, the Lord just showed us His faithfulness and love for us. Laura put it a great way. She said, "It was like God said, 'Language barrier? That's no big deal to me!'" This may seem like a little thing, but it gave our whole team a ton of encouragement. We aren't going to be able to go to church with him because we already have some things planned during that time, but we are trying to connect him with someone who is on the long-term team here, who also speaks Russian.
Some facts that I have learned about ministry/Russia/people recently:
There are more Christians in Africa than there are people in America.
Don't misunderstand my opinion on this. I definitely think there is a huge need in Africa, some places more than others. I know the continent is poverty stricken and something needs to be done. I actually would love to go and work and serve there someday. However, for me it really validates why I am in Russia telling the gospel to people. Since I've been here I have met people from Nigeria, Gunea, and Ghana. All of them are men and all of them have been associated with ministries here. I've met people from all over the world in my time here. It's encouraging to me to know that because Moscow is such a melting pot of people from the whole world, we have had the opportunity to share Jesus with people of every tribe, tongue, and nation. When I heard this fact, it appalled me. I hope that if you are sitting at a computer in Texas, New Mexico, or Oklahoma (which, knowing most of the people who read this, chances are, you are...) that this statistic encourages you to be an example and a carrier of the gospel to the people around you. I have been challenged by this statistic for when I get home. We don't have to go across the ocean to tell people about Jesus. Everyone everywhere needs to hear.
For every pregnant woman in Moscow, there have been 3 abortions.
I think that speaks for itself. It literally makes me want to throw up. I'm getting a baby from here someday, and I would love to talk with you about it more when I get home.
For the average Russian, they have to hear the gospel 6 or 7 times before they come to a point of decision.
I learned this at briefing. For me, it was a bit discouraging. I knew coming into this that last summer, the team of 40 only saw 2 people make decisions for Christ. However, through my time here and conversations here, I have realized that we aren't entitled to anything from God. Of course, we want to see the fruit of our labor, but just because we want it doesn't mean that God is going to give it to us. I have full confidence that someday, maybe not on this side of heaven, but someday, we will see the fruit of what we have done here. I know countless seeds have been planted, and it may not be our position to harvest them. I have really learned that God is doing bigger things than we see on the outside. I could go on and on about this, but if you want to hear, let's talk when I get home. :)
If you're still with me, here are a few cultural/funny/random things from the past few days:
We went to a Russian ballet last night! It was Sleeping Beauty. I have never seen anything like it before, but it was really enjoyable. We got lost on the way, and we literally sprinted through the streets of Moscow for 20 minutes and made it at the last minute. Did I mention it had been/was pouring rain? I'll definitely remember it forever. Shane and Kim, everything about last night reminded me of you. :)
I got yelled at for not giving exact change today. She was more angry about it than anyone I've encountered so far. Funny, though.
Luxury cars are EVERYWHERE. BMWs, Mercedes, Audis, Porsches, Lexus, anything you can think of...A Porsche Cayenne is about as common here as a mini van is in the United States.
We are going to a Russian Circus on Friday night!
We are headed to St. Petersburg on a train on Sunday afternoon. There, we will debrief, see some things, and rest before we head home a next Wednesday. I'm looking forward to that time. I can't believe our time is almost up. I told my dad today that in some ways I feel like I just got here, and in some ways I feel like I've been here forever and need to go home. I'm just trying to soak up everything I can before I head back to America.
Chris Newport, this post is especially for you! :)
Okay, so to say that I don't know ANY Russian might be a stretch. I have a hard time reading it, but I have a small vocabulary that I can speak. All the words I know are things that are important for my daily survival. I'll give you a list of what I know...The words are spelled how I think you would spell them in English...
mozhna-I would like
pojalsta- please/you're welcome (confusing...)
marazhona rajoke- ice cream cone
specieba- thank you
yanee ponee my you- I don't understand
eta- that
eee- and
privet- hello
paka- bye
das vadana- excuse me (I think...)
mAC fluddy- McFlurry
chocolod- chocolate
Kitay Gorod- I don't know what this actually translates to, but it's important to know because it is the metro stop that our hostel is located at. This is one that I can actually read :)
So I do know a tiny bit. I'm doing my best. Tonight, our team went to McDonald's to get ice cream...I swear it's better and different here...anyway, in Russia they have these awesome McFlurrys that have chocolate and caramel. As I stood in line, I recited exactly what I was going to get in my mind..."Mozhna pojalsta mAC fluddy caramelll chocolod." I got up there, said it and was feeling great about myself. As soon as I did, the lady that was working goes, "You speak English?" in almost perfect English...me: "Yes." her: "What do you want?" It was hilarious and a bit embarrassing.
This whole experience has just been an opportunity of a lifetime. Thank you for your support!!
1. Russia is getting difficult.
2. If you are reading this, I would probably love to hear from you via email, facebook, comment, anything.
3. We went to the park and had a great turnout today. Then it poured rain.
4. I got seperated from my team on the metro today...freaky.
5. We heard that some meat you get here is made out of cats...CREEPY.
6. We went to the zoo yesterday! It was fun. The only 2 bears I've seen in Russia so far were there. :)
7. I have lots of new besties. They are going to visit me in Lubbock. :)
8. We got new sheets last night...it's the little things, really.
9. I still can't read or speak any Russian.
10. I feel like I will appreciate 4th of July more this year than I have in the last 20 years. :)
It's hard to believe that I have been here for almost two weeks! I am still learning so much, and I have grown a ton already.
On Saturday, we went to the park where we had a picnic and got to hang out with 40ish Russian students that we had met throughout the week. It was really windy. It was interesting to talk with some of them. While we were there, a guy I was talking noticed my tattoo. (If you didn't know I had a tattoo....well, now you do. Whoops.) He asked me what it meant, and through telling him about why I got it (my mom, Ecclesiastes 3:11, etc.) I got to share the gospel with him! So cool. I wouldn't have ever thought that a relatively small tattoo on my wrist could be used to tell someone the greatest news of all time. Our God is big.
Sunday, we went to church. Almost the entire service was in English, which was really refreshing. It's a small church, maybe 50 members or so, but I can't explain how encouraging it was to see that there are other believers in this city, that will be here even after we are gone. Sunday afternoon, we went to Ismaylava, which is the Moscow market to buy Russian souvenirs and such. The only thing I have in my schema to compare it to is buying things at street stands in Mexico. You can bargin with these people like crazy. While we were there, we had Shashleek, which is like a Russian shishkabob that comes with a huge hunk of yummy bread. I had chicken, but other people on our team had pork and lamb too. Shashleek has been my favorite food here so far. We had a good time at Ismaylava, and I think we are planning to go back this weekend. Sunday night we played a game at the hostle that was really entertaining. I also fell off of a bunk bed all the way to my knees because of my pride. Brent will probably never let me live that one down, considering he tried to help me but I wanted to do it myself...annnnyyyway.
Monday, we spent most of our day at the Architecture school. We had some good conversation with some guys that I think some of our team is planning to meet with tomorrow and Friday. Most students are in the middle of their end of semester exams, and it is so encouraging that they are still wanting to meet with us. God is faithful. We finished up Monday with Bible study.
Yesterday, we went back to the humanitarian university. The feel is a bit different there, because we are not allowed to actually get on campus or into their school. Since we can't, we just have to hang out near the school at coffee shops or restaurants and look for people who we think might be students. Our conversations always start with "Do you speak English?". Many of the students do. Yesterday, we seemed to have a hard time finding people. My ministry team was split up and I was with Steven and Brian. We walked into Starbucks, I paid $7 for a small iced latte (Ridiculous, I know. Hey dad, they don't take giftcards here. Disappointing, I know. However, they do sell giftcards here, but the guy told me they can only take them if they are loaded with rubles, not American dollars...I don't get it?) I saw a guy sitting by himself, and I felt like the guys needed to talk to him. I went and sat at a table nearby and prayed for them and their conversation as it happened. About 15 minutes in, I found that I didn't know what to pray for anymore, since I didn't know the direction their conversation was headed. I decided to open my Bible and just begin reading and praying scripture over them. I randomly ended up in Matthew, and I was so encouraged when I came across Matthew 6:8, which says, "...for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him." The reality is, the Lord knew exactly what they needed right then in their conversation, even if I didn't. The same situation happened later in a restaurant. I ended up reading all of Matthew yesterday, which was pretty encouraging. I found that the reality of Jesus and the cross and the resurrection is something that I often take for granted. I have known and believed it for so long that, even being here and being conscious of why we are here, I forget the power of it and that people really don't know about the freedom it gives. I was encouraged yesterday.
Today, I woke up not feeling great. I was literally sitting on my springy mattress in my pajamas thinking, "There is no way I can do this today." I was tired and a little cranky from not sleeping well. The whole time until I got to the humanitarian school, I was just praying that the Lord would fill me and give me a good attitude as I tried to have conversations with students. We started at McDonalds. We got coffee, made a plan, and then tried to get creamer for our coffee. The lady working and I were having a complete miscommunication. At first she thought I was asking for another coffee, then she offered me marozhna razhok (an ice cream cone) and then she tried to give me a child's meal milk carton. I ended up giving up because I don't think she had a clue what I was talking about. I had a good laugh about it though AND I drank my coffee completely black with a little sugar. (Dad, I hope you are proud. :)) Me and Laura (one of my new besties) approached a girl sitting by herself. We asked if she spoke English, and she told us she was actually an English teacher and invited us to sit down. We were a little unsure about how long we should continue our conversation since she wasn't a student. However, the more we talked with her, the better our conversation got. We had been talking for a little bit about her job, Russia, America, her students, etc., when literally the Holy Spirit just took over. As soon as the conversation lulled a little, I just asked her what she thought the meaning of life was. (If you know me, you know that this probably isn't a likely thing for me to ask someone that I had just met 30 minutes before.) She told us that she didn't really know, and then asked us what we thought. OH MY GOSH!!! I seriously could have peed my pants. Normally, people aren't so open to ask us what we think, so this was awesome. We ended up finding out that she definitely believes there is a God, and she asked us things about why people have hard times and why some things are harder than others. Both Laura and I both ended up getting to share part of our testimonies, and we got to share the gospel with her! We got to give and look over with her a Russian/English Knowing God Personally book. If you are familiar with this, you know that at the end there is a circle on the left/right (aka: point of decision). She told us that she didn't know where she was, but that she would love to look and read over it and talk with us more about it. We are going to meet with her either tomorrow or Friday. I am so excited. It's so encouraging/refreshing to see that, even though it doesn't always seem to go the way we think it should, what the Lord has called us to here matters and that people really do need to know this good news. I'm keep finding myself so humbled that He would choose sinful, broken McCall to carry His message. I'll keep you posted on what happens in the rest of our time with this girl.
Now for some cultural observations:
Girls/Women/Elderly women often wear see through shirts. Bras are optional. I am so glad this isn't a trend in America!!!
Lots of people don't wear deodorant.
The metro has awesome pasteries. (Thank you Luke Williams for telling us!)
Still no smiling on the metro.
There are piegons EVERYWHERE. They freak me out and they are really brave little things.
The piegons are about the size of Berkley. FREAKY.
Everyone here smokes cigarettes like crazy.
I'm pretty sure Americans are the only people on the earth who say Moscow like "moss-cow". Everywhere else, it's called "moss-cowe" (rhyming with stow, row, go).
CACTUS WAAAATTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR! gimmegimmegimmegimme. We don't know what it really is, but I've never had anything like it. It's really yummy. Similiar to lemonade but not really at all. Dad, Marlee, and McLane, I'm going to try to bring you some! I think you would like it. :)
The weather is so beautiful!
I'll try to write more often. Things are so busy here that it's hard to find the time! I love each of you dearly and look forward to sharing more stories in detail with you when I get home. Thanks for all of your support!!
-m.
"Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?"
I'm going to give you a list of thoughts/experiences of my time here so far, simply because it is too difficult and time consuming to give all of the details...
These are some things that my friend, Stephen, put on his blog that I'm going to use part of so that you can better understand what I'm writing about now and for the rest of my time here. You can read his blog here
Campuses: We went to campus today to talk with students. When we go to campuses during the week we are primarily meeting students and striking up conversations. Sometimes we may share the Gospel if the students seems very interested in spiritual things, but more often than not we simply build relationships and ask questions about what they think on deeper subjects. We then invite them to hangout with us at the park on Saturday, or even setup appointments to meet one-on-one later in the week if we think they might want to talk more. (Campus visits will be Mondays-Wednesdays, Appointments on Thursdays and Fridays, and Park hangout time on Saturdays). While appointments are usually initiated with students who want to talk more one on one, the park will be our whole team playing sports and allowing those interested in simply spending more time with us to come along. We have also learned that there are less than 5 believers on each campus that we know of. That absolutely breaks my heart. On a few of our campuses, there are no known believers. You can imagine that this makes outreach and sharing our faith quite difficult.
Teams: Our whole group is broken up into three ministry teams, and each team will take on two campuses while here. We each have a primary campus and a secondary campus. The primary campus is the one we'll focus more on (hence, primary)...My team's primary campus is the Architecture school. It is very prestegious and every student seems to be very talented. Our secondary school is a humanitarian university, and many of the students speak very broken or little English.
The Hostel: The 13 of us students are taking up about half of a hostel called The Napoleon. The thirteen of us share two toilets and two showers with the rest of the hostel, which holds 40ish people. I'd say that this living style probably makes camp or the dorms look like high end living. Haha. I have had 2 cold showers since I've been here, the space is very small, and it's definitely strange to get out of the shower and boom, there is your team and all the rest of the people in the hostel. I think I will get used to it though, and it definitely has helped our team bond already.
Now onto other thoughts...
I was really tickled by the British accents the whole plane ride here. I was also amused by the guys on my team that I sat between, as they talked back and forth in British and Irish accents to each other. Mark even asked one of the flight attendents if he had a good British accent, to which she replied, "No, not really." Haha.
I was very confused when we got here because I had absolutely no concept of what time it was. I had lost 9 hours of my life and was totally sleep deprived and delerious.
I don't know any Russian.
I feel like one of those idiot Americans that you see in the movies.
Russians really like exact change, and if you don't give it to them, they kind of raise their voice and say something in Russian. Luckily, I don't know what they're saying so I just shrug my shoulders and smile until they take my money.
Speaking of money, I'm having a difficult time understanding how much things really are. I think I paid like $15 for my dinner the other night without knowing...whoops.
It's light here from 4am to 11pm...confusing.
I got hit on by a guy at the Architecture school yesterday. A guy on my team, Brian, and I started out talking with him and his friend, and we kind of got seperated. I ended up talking with him for 2 hours, and he wanted me to wait an hour and a half until he got out of class again so we could hang out more...I didn't. Haha. That will be a story to tell when I get home for sure.
The metro is crazy. I can't imagine trying to figure it out myself.
Nobody smiles or talks on the metro. Our team is encouraged not to either, because we don't want to stand out anymore that we already do, but it is hard and sometimes we just can't help ourselves :)
We walk A LOT.
There are sooo many people here, and barely anyone ever smiles. Even little kids. It makes me sad.
Ministry/outreach here is very difficult for lots of different reasons.
You can be praying: for patience. for rest. for my friend that I met day before yesterday. She seemed very interested in talking more about spiritual things, and we are planning to see her at the park on Saturday. for continued team bonding. for as little language barrier as possible.
I will try to write more often. I love each of you and I'm thankful for all of your continued support!
-m.
"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"
So I am currently in the car on the way from Lubbock to Dallas with my awesome aunt and uncle (Brent and Melody) who were so great to bring me back with them! Quick recap of the past week...
Had a great time at briefing with our team and other teams from the Red River region of Campus Crusade (Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana, and Arkansas). It was really cool to see 100ish? people in one place answering the call to take the Gospel to the nations, including Italy, Greece, Russia, East Asia, and Ethiopia. We did a lot of team building, last minute preparation, learned about conflict resolution and how to love our team. All of my team except 3 of us left Tuesday evening, and I flew back to Midland. Because of the fires, I wasn't able to drive back to Lubbock until Wednesday morning. At first I was kind of bummed/stressed about that, but then I ended up getting to meet this precious guy.....
This is Connor. His parents are in my aunt and uncle's (Shane and Kim) Sunday school class. Connor was just adopted from Moscow and got to come home last week!! I have prayed for him and his new family since September, so to finally see him and see how well he is doing was incredible. I have joked about bringing about 5 kids like Connor back with me when I finish in Moscow...I completely believe that I will someday, but for now my Dad doesn't find it too exciting. :)
I got back to Lubbock on Wednesday and began packing (which was more challenging than I anticipated...) Thursday family started getting there. We had a big party to celebrate Marlee's life and graduation on Friday night with family and friends. It was great and she definitely raked in some good stuff. Graduation was yesterday. Shout out to Marlee for being a baller at life and graduating with honors and getting to sit on the front row. :) I'm so proud of her and can't wait to see what the next chapter of her life holds! I finally finished packing last night and got up at the crack of dawn to say bye to Marlee and send her off to the state choir competition.
Our flight leaves at 5:50 this evening from Dallas. We will fly to London and have a layover there, and then London to Moscow!! I am not sure what time (Texas or Moscow) that we will be getting there, but I know it's a long time from 5:50. Haha. I'll update and let you know when I arrive! You can be praying for safety and smooth travel logistics.
Thank you for partnering with me as we make Jesus' name known in Russia. I'm grateful for you and your support!!
I don't know what to say, other than now that school is out and I don't have any of the stress from homework/lesson plans/small children everywhere/projects/etc..., I can't quit thinking about Moscow. I'm seriously so pumped. There is a lot to be done before then, and I am almoooosssttttt to my support goal. I find myself praying for the same five things over and over.
-for the little bit of my financial support that I still need to come in
-for my team's financial support.
-for the students we will meet.
-for our team to bond quickly.
-for our team to have a peace knowing the Lord has prepared the way and gone before us.
I would love for you to join me in praying for those same things in the next several days! I will leave to go to briefing the 22nd-24th (that's less than two weeks :o!), then when my team leaves for Russia, I will come home to be a part of Marlee's graduation and all the festivities that go with that. Then, I will leave to meet my team on the 29th. We are so close and I am SO EXCITED.
With Easter this week, I keep finding myself thinking of the cross. It really is the base of what my faith comes down to. Without the cross, without Jesus, there is no hope. There is no reason to persevere, to live, to move forward. But because God became man, and came to live a perfect life in a fallen world, and was crucified on a cross between two criminals for MY sin and the rest of the world's sin, and then rose from the grave 3 days later-because of that, I have a hope, future, and purpose. Because He loves me and you so much, He died a brutal, undeserved death so that we can be with Him now and for eternity if we choose. And He so badly wants us to choose Him and what He has. I am so thankful.
This song is on my church's media page that has several of the songs that they perform on Sundays. Check it out.
"When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit." John 19:30
I think the song says it all. Love it. So true of my life. I had a horrible April Fool's joke played on me today, and this song came to mind during the 30 minutes that I thought so many things had changed and been ruined. Maybe I'll write about that next. Enjoy this song, I do.
So I was intending on this just being a short and sweet song crush post. But as I've listened to the song over and over, I've figured out I have more to say. I think you should listen to the song before I write, so here it is...
I've known and liked this song for a while, but we sang it at CRU on Thursday night and it evoked emotion in me. The chorus talks about being restless until we rest in the Lord. I find that to be so true in my life. So often I want to go and do and figure it out all on my own, and I exhaust myself trying to do that. Maybe you can relate. The Bible tells us that we can't rest without God. As I listened to this song and tried to decide if it was blog-worthy, I was immediately reminded of a couple of verses. The first one is Psalm 62:5-8:
"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God, he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge."
The first time I ever remember reading that is when I was learning to be a rappelling instructor. As my camp friends know, I was a complete mess the week I was violently shoved outside of my comfort zone by trying to learn all of that. I couldn't sleep because I was thinking of how scared I was and how I was never going to be able to do that for the entire summer and how I hated it and how I could get out of it and thinking of how my partner, Bryne and my boss, Steve probably just thought I was a complete sorority girl sissy. (I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I'm not, buuuut...haha) I couldn't rest. I couldn't do it. That is not how I'm wired and I was terrified. Then my friend Kylee, who had done my job the year before, pointed me to Psalm 62. I am still incredibly grateful for her wisdom that day. She probably doesn't know that every single time I was on top of that tower, looking up the gap, about to rappel with 10 junior high and high school kids watching me, I was scared to death. Every time. It got easier as the summer went on, but I was legitimately scared at least 4 times a day. What she also doesn't know, is that every time I looked up the gap and dreaded what I was about to do, I recited part of Psalm 62. I would say to myself, "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him." and I would take a deep breath and go. It didn't make it more enjoyable, but it made it manageable. I quickly learned that if I ask the Lord to quiet my soul and I look to him for my rest, that He will respond. And yet even after learning that in a big way, in my every day life I find myself looking to earthly things to give me rest. I'm looking to my own wisdom and my own ideas to find rest, and I can't do it. I am restless.
So I guess that is why this song touches me so deep. I am restless every single day. And every single day, the Lord desires for me to rest in Him. Some days I actually figure that out. I don't want to be restless. I want to wake up and go through my day and go to sleep resting in Him alone. He is so faithful to pursue me even when I am running.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." -Matthew 11:28
When I first started blog-stalking, I had only one that I read. It was one of my dear family-friends, and she is a talented writer. Here is the link to her blog. Anyway, Mindy does what she calls "Song Crushes". I like the idea, so I am going to start a Song Crush Collection. My best friend recently asked me if I even like music. I laughed. Because I do really enjoy it and whether it be Pandora (which is my favorite) or iTunes or just the regular radio. I wish I could be like her, you know, one of those legit hipster granola people who is super in tune with the cover bands and people that start in coffee shops and all of that. I WISH I WAS THAT COOL. But the reality is, I'm not. I don't spend time looking up edgy acoustic bands, even though I think it's cool. However, I do stumble across songs and I become obsessed with them and listen to them for about a week straight. So, here's to having those recorded somewhere!
The first time I heard this song, I saw it on a friend's Facebook wall. I thought it was cheesy. The next time I heard it was on one of my sorority sister's engagement video, which by the way is the most precious thing I've ever seen in my life. I've learned since then that one of my good friends and her fiance are having their first dance to this song at their wedding in a few months. Anyway, this song is precious and I happen to love Train. And maybe someday this song will mean more than other precious people in ridiculously cute relationships. But for now it just makes me excited for all of my sweet friends that are engaged and gives this hopeless romantic a glimmer of hope. ;)
I've been neglecting my blog. I find that I have a lot to say and not a lot of time to sit down and write it all, so I just don't. I'm saying to heck with it, I want and need to get back in the practice of it so I'm just going to do a little bit at a time.
I've been busy. I went to the Red River Region Campus Crusade Winter Conference in Dallas the first few days of the year...it was incredible. I saw some of my dearest friends the first weekend in February, a few that I haven't seen since August. That was fun and I'll post pictures later. I have been working a ton, which is fun but I'm borderline burned out. We had freakish weather for like a week and the way Lubbock-ites responded, you would have thought the world was ending. I've had an awful sinus infection. We had a "Famous Couples" date party, my friend Ike and I went as salt and pepper. My sister got in an awful car wreck and broke her foot but we are so thankful that, for all practical reasons, she's in one piece.
The latest, greatest, most exciting news as of lately is that I got accepted to go to Moscow, Russia on a Summer Project with Campus Crusade!!!
I am so excited. I never in a million zillion years would have thought that's where I would ever go. The way the Lord has completely redirected my plans in the last six months has been crazy. I guess it all kind of started when I got home from camp. I was really sad and borderline depressed for about a month. I had had an incredible summer with some incredible people and all I wanted to do was go back. I had told myself that no matter what, that's where I would be in the summer of 2011. God obviously had some different plans. I'm not exaggerating one bit when I say this: I literally woke up one day and had a change of heart. No circumstances had changed. Nothing had happened. I woke up and thought to myself, "I'm not sure that I want to go back, and I'm not sure that I am supposed to." It was really sad for me to feel that way, and I even tried to talk myself out of it because of my relationships with people there. I couldn't seem to change my God's mind. So I began to pray about what the summer would hold. I should have prayed about it before I just subconsciously made a decision, but I am human. God has a funny way of reminding us of things, huh? Anyway, at CRU I kept hearing about these things called Summer Projects. As I learned more about them, I realized that they are all over the United States and all over the world. I have several friends that have been different places, and I've heard nothing but wonderful things. I kept hearing about Moscow. When I say kept hearing, I mean KEPT hearing. It seemed like everywhere I went someone was talking about it. To be honest, it was kind of annoying. Obviously it was a great experience, but look at all the other places you could go. You would choose Russia, really? And aside from that, I was planning to have to be in Lubbock for the summer, based on a position in my sorority I was anticipating. You can read about that here. When that didn't go as I had planned, I reluctantly looked into all different Summer Projects. I talked to my friend, the director of CRU at Tech, about a handful of different places, and he kept bringing me back to Moscow. I told him I would pray about it, but that there were some pretty major issues with dates for that trip, and that I wasn't sure I could pull it off. When I was at the Winter Conference, I met the leader of this project, and come to find out there are a few other people who would have to go a few days late like I would. I said I couldn't pull it off, but God can. So I drug my feet on filling out this intense application, but I did. Since doing that, I've had several people ask me, why Russia? My sister in particular has asked me why I don't go somewhere "cooler" like France or Italy or something. I can say with complete faith and honesty, that the only reason I am going to Moscow is because God told me to. If I'm being honest, I don't have a huge desire to see Russia. I would love to see New York or Chicago or Australia or Italy or Ethiopia or any of the other places that Campus Crusade has projects. But the Lord has just opened doors and completely directed me to Russia. How cool is that?? I can't wait to see what He has in store there.
So I am going to spend 6 ish weeks in Russia, building relationships and telling some of the 1,000,000 plus college students there about Jesus. Less than 1% of the population in Moscow are Christians. Moscow is the culture and educational center for most of the Asian continent. Students come from the Caucus regions (the "stans"), Eastern Europe, Siberia, and Mongolia. If you know what the 1040 window is, a lot of people from there come to school in Moscow. (If you don't know what the 1040 window is, you should google it!!) It includes places that would not be safe for us to go share the Gospel. What is so cool and hard for me to imagine, is that if somehow we God can reach some of those people in Moscow, they can take the Gospel to their country much easier than we can. I can't even wrap my mind around that, but I am trying to learn to have an eternal perspective.
If you're still with me....
This is a video that was showed at CRU a few weeks ago. It's powerful. Take 4 minutes and watch it.
I'm going because there are roughly 140 million people in Russia, and less than 1 million follow Christ. That is .642%.
"Therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." -Matthew 28:19-20
I am going to have to raise a lot of money for this to happen. I know that if God has called me to this, that He will be faithful to provide the funds to get me there. If you want to join my team and partner with me in fulfilling The Great Commission, please let me know. I would be eternally grateful.
If you have made it this far, bless you! That was LONG.
I am excited about what the Lord is doing in Russia and in my life. And hopefully I'll blog more soon.
